Therapy for Romanian Immigrants in Chicago

The weight nobody else understands

You left Romania for real reasons. Better job. Safer future. Room to breathe. But nobody warns you that success feels hollow sometimes when you're celebrating it alone, or worse, explaining it to a parent over a crackling video call at 2 AM Chicago time. The guilt creeps in without permission—that you're thriving while your mother is aging in Bucharest, that your siblings stayed and you didn't, that you're slowly becoming someone they wouldn't recognize.

Chicago has a real Romanian community. Thousands of us. But community doesn't erase the specific loneliness of being the one who left, the one building something, the one who can't just drive home for Sunday dinner. There's a particular kind of grief in that—not the sharp kind, but the dull, constant kind that lives in your chest while you smile at work and send money home and pretend you're fine.

I was doing everything right—good job, apartment, friends—but I felt guilty for being happy. Like I wasn't allowed to have this life if my parents weren't in it.

You're not ungrateful. You're not weak. You're carrying something real: the psychological weight of immigration. It sits on top of regular life stress—work, relationships, money—and makes everything heavier. And because you come from a culture where you solve problems quietly, where you don't burden people, you've learned to carry it alone. Therapy isn't about forgetting Romania or rejecting your choice to come here. It's about learning to hold both truths at once without letting either one crush you.

Why this struggle hits different—and what actually helps

Immigrant grief is complicated because it lives alongside pride. You miss home *and* you made the right choice. You love your family *and* you need distance to breathe. These aren't contradictions—they're the reality of building a life across an ocean. The problem is that most people in your life can only see one side. Your American coworkers see ambition. Your Romanian family sees abandonment. Nobody sees the full picture, which is you, exhausted, trying to be enough for two worlds.

A therapist trained to work with immigrants gets this. They won't tell you to "just visit more" or "stop feeling guilty." They'll help you build a relationship with your grief that doesn't require you to feel it 24/7. They'll help you set boundaries with family that feel loving, not cruel. They'll help you grieve what you left without undoing everything you've built. Many of our therapists on BetterHelp speak Romanian or understand Eastern European culture deeply—so you don't have to translate your feelings. You can just say them.

What helps

Therapy for immigration grief isn't about erasing your connection to Romania. It's about learning to live fully in both places—honoring your past while building your future without guilt as the third person in every room.

What actually helps — and how to access it

BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists available by text, phone, or video. No commute. No waiting list. A session from your home, your car, or your lunch break — whenever works for you.

Therapists who understand

Filter by specialty and find someone experienced with exactly what you're going through.

Text, call, or video

You choose how you communicate. Message between sessions too.

Completely confidential

HIPAA compliant. Private and secure, always.

Weekly pricing

Pay weekly, not monthly. Cancel anytime. Financial aid available.

20% off your first month

You don't have to figure this out alone

Answer a few questions and BetterHelp will match you with a licensed therapist in under 48 hours.

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You're not the only one who felt this way

For years I thought I was failing because I missed home. My therapist helped me see that missing home meant I loved something worth missing. Now I call my parents without that crushing guilt. I visit when I can. I send money without resentment. I have a life in Chicago that's real and mine, and I'm not betraying anyone by having it. That shift—from guilt to peace—changed everything. I'm finally allowed to be both Romanian and American.

Ioana, 41

Works in tech; started therapy five years after moving to Chicago

Questions people ask before starting

Will my therapist understand what it's like to leave family behind?

Many of our therapists have personal experience with immigration or cultural transition. When you book, you can filter for therapists who understand Eastern European or Romanian backgrounds. Even if they didn't grow up immigrant, a good therapist will take your experience seriously and ask the right questions instead of offering surface-level advice.

I feel guilty for even talking about this. Isn't it selfish to focus on my own feelings when my family sacrificed for me?

Taking care of your mental health isn't selfish—it's the strongest thing you can do for your family. When you're drowning in guilt and loneliness, you can't show up as the person you want to be for them. Your family wants you to be okay. Therapy helps you actually be okay, not just pretend to be.

What does therapy actually cost, and can I afford weekly sessions?

BetterHelp sessions start at $90-$120 per week, paid monthly. We offer 20% off your first month. Many Romanian-American clients find this more affordable than in-person therapy, plus you save time commuting. If cost is tight, we can work with you on a plan.

How do I know therapy will actually help? I've been managing fine on my own.

Managing and thriving are different. Therapy isn't a last resort—it's a tool that helps you stop just surviving and start actually living. People who've worked with a therapist on immigration grief report less anxiety, better relationships with family, and real peace about their choices. You don't need to be in crisis to benefit.

What if I start therapy and don't connect with the therapist?

You can switch therapists anytime, free of charge. There's no contract, no awkwardness, no penalty. Finding the right therapist is like dating—sometimes it takes trying a few people. We make switching easy because the relationship matters more than anything else.

If you are in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 immediately — the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day in English and Spanish. BetterHelp is not a crisis service.

The first step is the hardest one

Five minutes to get matched. Licensed therapist. Confidential. 20% off your first month.