Therapy for Ukrainian Immigrants in America

The weight of leaving everything behind

You made an impossible choice. Leave, or stay in danger. Even when you know it was the right decision, your body doesn't always feel relieved. Instead, there's a strange mix of guilt for being safe, longing for the life you had, anger at the world for forcing your hand, and the crushing reality that you may never return to your apartment, your street, the cemetery where your family is buried. These feelings don't make sense together, which is exactly why they're so hard to carry alone.

The displacement isn't just physical. It's the loss of routine, of language flowing naturally around you, of faces you expected to age alongside. It's watching news from home and feeling helpless. It's survivor's guilt when you hear from friends still there. It's the strange numbness that comes after months of adrenaline, followed by waves of grief you didn't know were coming. Your grief is valid. And it's exhausting to hold it while also trying to build a new life.

I felt like I was betraying my country by trying to be happy here. My therapist helped me understand that healing isn't the same as forgetting.

Many Ukrainian immigrants describe feeling caught between two worlds—unable to fully settle in America because home is still calling, but unable to go home because it's not safe. That liminal space is its own kind of trauma. You may experience intrusive thoughts about what's happening back home, difficulty concentrating at work, sleep that won't come, or sudden bursts of anger at small things. These aren't signs of weakness. They're signs that your nervous system is still in survival mode, trying to protect you from losses it can't control.

Why this grief feels impossible—and why therapy actually works

War trauma and immigration grief are not simple losses. You're not mourning one thing. You're mourning safety, proximity to family, your former identity, your country's future, normalcy itself. Traditional support networks may not exist here yet. Even well-meaning friends struggle to understand what it means to flee your country. Online messages from home can retraumatize you. The isolation of immigrant life—combined with ongoing worry about loved ones still there—creates a unique form of suffering that demands specialized understanding.

Therapy helps because it gives you a space to hold all of this without translation, without judgment, and without having to comfort the person listening. A trauma-informed therapist can help you process what happened, understand why your nervous system is stuck in alert mode, grieve what you've lost without being swallowed by it, and gradually build a sense of safety and purpose in your new home. This isn't about moving on or forgetting. It's about integrating your past into a present where you can actually live.

What helps

Therapy for immigration and war trauma typically focuses on processing loss, regulating an overactive stress response, and building a coherent narrative of your experience. With the right support, many people find that their grief becomes less suffocating—not gone, but manageable—and their capacity for connection and hope returns.

What actually helps — and how to access it

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You're not the only one who felt this way

For six months after arriving in Chicago, Oksana felt like she was moving through water. She'd left her parents, her teaching job, her entire adult life in Kyiv. Every news alert sent her spiraling. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't focus at her new job. Her American coworkers meant well but didn't understand why she cried at random moments. When she started therapy with someone experienced in immigration trauma, something shifted. Her therapist didn't tell her to 'move on.' Instead, they helped her understand her grief as love. Now, eighteen months in, Oksana still misses home fiercely. But she's also built a small life here—friendships, routines, a sense of purpose. The ache is smaller. And she can breathe.

Oksana, 41

Fled Kyiv in 2022, started therapy six months after arriving

Questions people ask before starting

Will I sound like I'm complaining if I talk about missing home while being grateful to be safe?

Not at all. Gratitude and grief exist at the same time. A good therapist knows that you can be relieved to be alive and heartbroken about what you lost. Both are true. Therapy is where you can express the full, messy reality without performing for anyone.

What if my therapist doesn't understand Ukrainian culture or the war?

That's a fair concern, and it matters. BetterHelp lets you filter for therapists with experience in trauma, immigration, or cultural background that resonates with you. You can also switch therapists anytime, free of charge, until you find someone who truly gets it.

How much does therapy cost, and will I have to do it forever?

Sessions start at around $60-90 per week depending on your therapist, and many people find BetterHelp's first month is 20% off. Most people don't need therapy forever—many see real progress in 8-16 weeks. You control the pace and can pause or end anytime.

I'm afraid therapy will make the sadness worse, or that I'll fall apart.

It's natural to fear that opening up will overwhelm you. But therapists are trained to help you process grief at a pace you can handle. You won't be forced to relive trauma. Instead, you'll gradually make sense of it in a way that actually reduces the weight it carries.

What if I start therapy and realize it's not helping, or my therapist isn't right?

You can switch to a different therapist anytime, at no extra cost. There's no contract, no penalty. Finding the right fit matters, and BetterHelp makes it easy to try until you feel heard and understood.

If you are in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 immediately — the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day in English and Spanish. BetterHelp is not a crisis service.

The first step is the hardest one

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